Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
