Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
