I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
