I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
