This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
my liver is dry heaving
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize