And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
