its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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