were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
