it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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