Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Boobs are out for the taking
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
