so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize