oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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