girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
