After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
