There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize