you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
