In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
