she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
vagina is talking i cant
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
