I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
