Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
