I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
