Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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