New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
