I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
