are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
