After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
