guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
