I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
