Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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