GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
