If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You brought string cheese to the strip club
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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