Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Someone came in the potted fern
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
