We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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