i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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