I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
