Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
