It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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