AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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