he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
There are leaves in my underwear?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
