I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
