Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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