you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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