I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He shit in the fireplace
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
