Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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