Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
