On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
