Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
