I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
