Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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