whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
