Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
