Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
When are your genitals available?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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