This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
