We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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