Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
