I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
