I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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